Not Everything Goes Well With Cheez Whiz

I was going to write something about the Larry King Live alien debate that aired on Friday. This show came about due to the overwhelming response Stephen Hawking's 'alien statement' received. That statement was lifted from the first episode of his new series called Into the Universe on the Discovery channel, and appeared in the last 3 minutes of that program.

Having finally had a chance to watch the actual episode with the 42 other minutes no one bothered to mention, I am even more baffled by the amount of anger it has been met with.

Anyway, I realized that I really had nothing important to add regarding King's latest round-table, and so I've decided not to bang on that drum.

Nah, I'm just screwing with ya.

Seriously, what the fuck was that?


It's very easy to get upset with the people you hate that wind up on these round-table discussions, and its just as easy to lob praise at the ones you love and support, so I won't be taking the predictable path of picking on Seth and David, mostly because I had already expected their position and responses. The thing that really had me scratching my head, having seen a few nightmare roundtables on LKL in the past, is why in God's name these people even agreed to this shit. It's the kind of train wreck that almost no one looks good coming out of.

If these four have seen previous UFO-related round-tables on King before (I know Shostak has been a part of them in the past) and didn't see this one ending up as another joke, then maybe there really is something in our water. But thank God for Michio -- and not even because I totally agreed with him, but because he maintained a level of calmness and respectability that the other 3 guests couldn't get their arms around. Yeah, sorry Dan. Love your comedy, but I can't really swallow those 2000mg UFO pills you're dealing, or hang with the sales pitch.

Did anyone other than Kaku bother to prep for this show? I mean, it's not like the questions were flying out of left field. They were all completely predictable. I'd have written my responses down the night before, knowing I'd maybe get 30 seconds per question in which to answer. Michio did his homework. Or, wait -- that's not entirely true. He really just used relevant quotes from shows and specials he's done in the past. At least with his responses, he showed how a little preparation can make these 'discussions' a bit less like men measuring their Johnsons and a bit more like adults holding an actual debate.

I don't know if Aykroyd was huffing Cheez Whiz or if Shostak's inability to be funny is an airborne contagion with mind-numbing side effects -- whatever the case, this show was not really working. It was folly from inception, with it's odd combination of guests and it's conversation-limiting half-hour time slot.

That's about all of the time I can devote to LKL, because while I was writing this and wondering why Brin, Shostak, Kaku and Aykroyd bothered to do the show, I kept wondering why I even bothered to watch it -- especially after the second time Dan mentioned that aliens are breaking the law and I realized he was being serious.

I can just hear Gomer Pyle shouting: "Citizen's arrest! Citizens arrest!"