Things You Might Find in a Vaudville Show

Every so often something comes along that really just makes my day. It's usually never as grand as this, but whether it's a poorly planned hoax or an alien wearing Bermuda shorts, a good laugh is always a nice change up from the usual  stream of garbage and drudgery. Such is the case of the freshly pickled Pickerings and their mysterious 'Source A' disclosure agent, now revealed as one Richard Theilmann. If you haven't read this beautifully executed exposé, do yourself a favor.

Let me throw a bit of the back-story at you (though I highly recommend reading the entire piece written by Stephen Broadbent):

Shawn and Clay Pickering have been milking a story about a secret inside-source who divulged information regarding alien contact with the US government, having been a liaison officer to these very extra terrestrials. Known only as 'Source A', this man was touted as having a very illustrious career in the Navy of which he still claims active-duty. Source A, a.k.a Richard Theilmann, a.k.a. Chaps McGee, confided in the Pickerings not just that extra terrestrials were in contact with the government, but that these beings were actually involved with the government. Nothing too shocking there - we've heard this story a bazillion times before. But on April 9th of this year, Clay Pickering attended an event that would, within a month's time, pull the rug out from under his feet (as well as his brother's), tearing off the shroud of secrecy covering their mysterious source in the process.

Presented on Open Minds as a very high-profile, hush-hush meeting and worded like some convoluted cloak-and-dagger screenplay, this event was reported to have been attended by high-ranking officials that included Naval officers as well as State Department and United Nations delegates. It's purpose: to discuss the future of the Navy and it's policies with nation-states. A number of times along the way, Clay reiterated the extreme importance of this function, even detailing his experience with admission into the event (he was vetted by four different individuals and given some hard looks before Theilmann vouched for him -- talk about beefed-up security!). In fact this event was so secret that it wasn't even known about until just before it took place -- an obvious move to avoid unwanted exposure.

The amount of trouble Clay went through in order to present this meeting as highly, super-ly, majorly, incredibly classified and top secret, was ridiculous. Really ridiculous. But, then that's part of the intense beauty of what was to soon follow.

As it turns out, this 'major' engagement was not entirely the important meeting of minds it was built up to be. And by 'not entirely', I mean 'not at all'. Through some excellent (though relatively simple) investigation, a very different story unfolds. It's the simplicity, or rather the ease in which the investigation was performed that adds to the humor of this fiasco.

The mysterious and highly secure meeting was nothing more than the Chief of Naval Operations (Admiral Gary Roughhead) addressing the New York Council of the Navy League at the New York Athletic Club. As you might guess, security at the event was not as secure as had been portrayed either, with members paying 50 bucks admission and non-members (read: Clay Pickering) paying 60 bucks. Along with those costs came access to an open bar (I love open bars!). The New York Athletic Club was just one stop of many for the admiral, having been to NYU Poly Tech and the New York City Yacht Club, earlier in the day, where he made the same speech. These were, in fact, public speaking engagements.

Let that sink in a moment.

It get's much, much better! I don't want to ruin the article for you, but I did want to give you a brief introduction. I will tell you that we find out Source A's Naval record is an impossible length. For instance the claim that he has served in the Navy for 40 years would put him at age 15 in 1968, and then at school for a few more years after. There is also a seemingly touching (yet also creepy) story of his help with rape victims in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina that I find truly disgusting, as his involvement was a complete fabrication. And lastly, a photo from his MySpace account of him being flogged with a ping-pong paddle at a skimpy buffet table, while wearing vinyl chaps and a lock on his cock (or a 'cock-lock', if you will).

I can't make this shit up.

This laughable piece of deception is an excellent example of why I'm critical of the Exopolitical movement and it's constant 'secret inside-sources' telling stories of alien employment by various governing bodies. Now, before anyone starts crying: I am not saying everyone in Exopolitics is a bullshit artist or is purposely misleading the public in any way. I'm sure there are some sincere people out there waving the Exo-flag. But unfortunately, some of the Exopolitical movers and shakers are really not doing any favors for the more sincere people involved.

Perhaps this bit of sleuthing will serve as a warning to those getting into UFOlogy (or in this case, specifically, the Exopolitical and Disclosure movements) to be wary of who you believe and what you buy into. It's easier than some might think to be taken as a sucker in a fixed game of dice. I've certainly fallen for some less than stellar sources in my time, as have many others. Oh, by the way: I also recommend reading the comment section of the article, as well. You'll see a lot of praise by various parties, more discussion, some attempts by Salla to make it all sound not-so-bad, and a great comment by Richard Dolan commending the researcher(s) and explaining his original opinion of this story and then his subsequent dismissal of the Pickerings as he began to catch wind of Denmark.

But if you hate reading articles as long as Hold the Pickles and the Special Source, then just look at the pictures* -- they pay off eventually!

While this wonderfully produced bit of Fact Versus Fiction will not change much in the grand scheme of things, nor rid the field of charlatans, it may also say something about UFOlogy itself and it's inability to move forward past the obvious bullshit and onto bigger and better things. As The Maen Vaen Jeremy Vaeni put it:

"There are very few fields that take clear-from-word-one bullshit this seriously. In fact, I can't think of another. If someone were to send a ghost investigator video of a sheet on a string claiming it's a full body apparition, that investigator would laugh it off. In ufology, we need to interview the witness, examine the tape, and check the location for trace evidence before laughing. And then we don't laugh because it isn't funny; it's serious. 

And then the joke is on us. Again. Always on us. AGAIN."

And it's true!

Ah, well. Maybe this investigation will have a positive impact beyond thoroughly de-pantsing a hoax, by opening more eyes to the land-mines scattered throughout UFOlogy. That alone is something.

Probably.

I think.

Fuck.


*Photo may be considered NSFW, though it contains no nudity.